How to Lose a Partner in 10 Days

Seventy percent of partnerships fail.

That's too high of a percentage for a strategy and department that has the potential to help a company double in revenue, increase closed won opportunities and reduce churn. 

It seems that we're better at making partnerships fail than helping them succeed.

So why then write content about how to lose a partner in 10 days? Aren't we already great at doing this? I mean, if I knew I'd have 70 percent chance of accomplishing anything, I should probably do it. 

So then the reason for putting together this list is to help us identify our greatest pitfalls in building partnerships. You may read this and nod saying, "Oh yes, I can't believe partner people do this." Others of us might nod, avert our eyes, or simply stop reading because, well, this identifies what we already do - every day.

And just as there are 10 ways to lose a partner, the inverse is true - there are 10 ways to win a partner.

Make partnerships about leads.

This one hurts. And is in someways, confusing. Isn't the point of partnerships to attract more customers, expand into new territories, and add more value to prospects? Yes, but I wouldn't say those are the reasons for the partnership as much as they are the result of a great partnership. Many business leaders will talk about when we focus on money as the reason for our business, we find ourselves always chasing our goals but never achieving them. Those that achieve their goals are those that do the right work in the beginning, and money is the result.

In the same way, leads and revenue is the natural result of healthy partnerships. So when you are working to build a new partnership program, or are working with a new partner, remember, yes, you do want to help drive top-line revenue for your organization, but also, there's more to your partnership than just leads.

Set unrealistic timelines.

Partnerships take time, and even more so, the results do, too. Businesses don't partner together, people do, and relationships take time. Remember this, both sides of the partnership are separate companies with separate goals and separate challenges. Not everything revolves around the partnership, so there are going to be instances when circumstances cause the partnership to drag on. 

For instance, I once worked on a partnership for 12 months, after it was already in process for the year prior! Contracts take time, training schedules take time, then there was an acquisition, then there were technical problems, then there were internal challenges. You name it, I dealt with it. If the expected timeline was to make one million dollars in revenue within that first year, good luck! It just simply wasn't going to happen.

Like wine, good partnerships take time.

Keep your goals secret.

This is different from mis-aligned goals. Why? Because at least with misalignment there's communication! But when one partner is going towards one goal and the other is going another way, but they don't know the other is going the way they are going... I think you get the picture. It's what Yogi Berra meant when he said, "If you don't know where you're going, you'll end up somewhere else."

It feels easy to say, "Communicate your goals with your partner about your partnership." But for some reason or another, we simply don't communicate our goals with our partner, and then we wonder why in 12 months nothing is happening. Or worse, we're frustrated that they are not helping us achieve our goals. 

How can they if you don't communicate your goals for the partnership?

Make it a one way street.

Partnerships always take at least 2 people from 2 different companies. There's give and take, there's working together, there's collaboration. Yet, we increase the odds of our partnerships failing when we make it all about us. The conversation typically goes like this, "Well, we really need to make revenue, and it's up to you to make it happen." Does anyone actually say that? Probably not, but I think you get the idea. We don't say it, but we live it.

If your meetings with your partners are dominated by one side and there doesn't seem to be any movement towards your goals, consider this, maybe you're making the partnership about you. Give before you take. Show your partner how they can be successful first, then you'll both win. In partnerships, it's better to give than to receive.

Forget the plan.

Whenever you're starting a business, people always ask for a business plan. Always. Do they read it? Not often, but investors and business leaders want to know if you have a plan. It's fascinating to me how many of us in partnerships don't build plans together. Too many times after 6 months of working with partners I realized we didn't make a plan for what we actually wanted to do together. Do we do a webinar? Sure, but why? Should we schedule a Happy Hour at this event? Sure, but why? What are we working towards? Will this help us be better partners?

If you don't build a plan, then partnerships is like what one partner leader once told me, "You're herding cats." 

Fail to plan. Plan to fail.

Forgo meetings.

Nobody wants more meetings. In fact, I'm not sure some of our calendars can expand to include more meetings. But when we build partnerships and we don't meet with our partners, then something else will fill that gap. Here's what I mean, if my wife and I were partners in our parenting (which we are), but we didn't regularly meet up to spend time together, get to know each other, learn about each other's dreams, give feedback, listen - we wouldn't be great partners.

Same with your business partnerships. If you're going to be partners, choose to meet up once in a while. I'm not saying every week, though sometimes your partner will need that, but once a year might suffice it enough. 

You don't have enough headcount for that? Consider this, maybe 70% of your partnerships are failing because you don't meet with them, because you can't support them. Lower the number of "partners" and increase your effectiveness.

Partner for fun, not to solve a problem.

This is probably the greatest risk to partnerships. We build "partnerships" to get a logo on our website, increase brand awareness, or get a slap on the back. But consider this, your partnership matters to your organization, so make it count. Your future customers have a problem that only you can solve, and you can solve it with a partner. That might be an integration, but it also could be implementation, training, or path to purchase. There are lots of problems to solve, just make sure you and your partner understand that you're partnering, not just for fun, but to solve a problem.

If you don't solve a problem, be friends, meet up at conferences, but spend your energy on making a partnership that helps drive you and your company forward.

Ignore internal partnerships.

The very nature of partnerships means better together. It means, I can't do this on my own, so I'm going to work with someone else. And yet, how easy it is to forget our own internal partnerships! Partner leader, you need sales and marketing on board. You need support aware, you need Customer Success to make existing customers happy. You need executive buy-in and support.

Remember, your marketing team has other things they are focusing on. And so does sales. Take the time to partner with your first team - your company, then you will have the partnership foundation to make your external partnerships successful.

Gossip.

Partnerships don't flourish when there's the meeting after the meeting. Stand up for your partner. Fight for unity. You have enough challenges as it is to build a partnership, don't give in to speaking ill of the people you work with. This will be hard, because sometimes they just might not get it, or they might do one of these 10 ways to lose a partner, and it's frustrating. I get it. What you say behind closed doors comes out in your actions with your partner.

If you're talking ill of a partner when they're not around, then you won't put in the work with them around to grow together.

Keep the truth hidden.

Sometimes partnerships just need to have a DTR, or "define-the-relationship" conversation. There are very few of us who enjoy conflict in our relationships, so many of us won't say what needs to be said. I remember a time when I had a partner leader tell me that they just couldn't focus as much time on our partnership like we had the previous year. When we looked at the numbers, he was right. We spent so many hours doing work for very little return. And when we looked at other partnerships in his ecosystem, he was getting a much higher return for less work. 

The writing was on the wall. If we didn't turn it around, we'd be part of the 70%. I needed this DTR moment. And we were able to turn it around. Deals that we had been working on for the last 3 months finally closed, and we were able to help our sales team build the habits they needed to discover new opportunities. Within that one quarter, we became their number one revenue generating and lead producing partner for their organization.

So now what? You know how to lose a partner. What can we do to elevate partnerships and change that C to an F?

Let's get worse at failing partnerships. Let's get so good at partnerships that we truly can't manage it all. 

1. Make partnerships that matter.
2. Set correct expectations.
3. Share goals.
4. Give before you get.
5. Make plans.
6. Show up for meetings.
7. Solve problems.
8. Build partnerships internally.
9. Say it to your partner.
10. Tell the truth.