CoPort Journal

7 Habits of Highly Effective Partner Managers Part 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood

Written by Danny Porter | Feb 22, 2024 6:58:00 PM

We recently read through Stephen Covey’s book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The truths laid out in this book, written over 30 years ago, have transformed how we think about personal growth, company growth, and, yes, even partnerships. As we grow at CoPort, seeking to help companies grow through partnerships, we took the content in that timeless book and applied it to what we do everyday.

We're going to take the next several blogs to lay out each habit, provide inspiration, and then give practical application so you, and I, can grow as partner leaders. 

Because we know that when we get better with partnerships, our companies win.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood

“If I were to summarize in one sentence the single most important principle I have learned in the field of interpersonal relations, it would be this: Seek first to understand, then to be understood. This principle is the key to effective interpersonal communication.” - Stephen Covey

We hear this from sales marketing all the time, “People buy from people, not companies.” In the world of enterprise sales, products and companies matter, but more importantly, it’s the relationships we build. It was John Maxwell who said, “All things are created equal, people buy from people they like, if not, they still do.”

In partnerships, relationships matter. Partnerships is arguably one of the hardest go to market activities a company engages in. There’s just too many variables that could cause a partnership to fail. Just to mention one, we build partnerships and hope that an employee whom we don’t pay their salary will attempt to sell or recommend our solution to their customer. It’s a risky step, for what if the prospect or customer doesn’t like the recommendation? Would the customer or prospect leave? It happens. And sales teams just don’t take the risk.

So, then the most important part of a partner manager’s role is communication. In fact, you could have everything else working well for you, the integration is incredible, the solution amazing, the margin generous, and the system spotless. But if there’s no relationship, no trust, no communication, nothing will happen. It will stall, and eventually fall into the 70% of partnerships that fail.

Once we’ve done the internal work to be proactive, to make goals, to prioritize, and to think Win/Win, now we must stop and listen and seek to understand the other party. Too many times we rush into an opportunity assuming we know what the other partner is thinking, only to find out we’re on two completely different pages. All because we didn’t communicate.

Take the time to listen, truly listen, and build trust with your partner. Once you’ve got that in place, then you’ve given yourself and your partner the best possible chance to succeed.

Application

  • Actively listen - Take notes, write down questions, follow up afterwards.
  • Listen with empathy - “Empathic (from empathy) listening gets inside another person’s frame of reference.” - Stephen Covey
  • Diagnose the problem before you prescribe the solution
  • Validate what you heard with who spoke. Use phrases like, “I heard you say this…” or “What I’m hearing you say is this… is that right?” “Did we agree on next steps?”